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Solitude

by Vio\ator

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    the first album by vio/lator

    limited to 250 copies on black vinyl!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Solitude via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      €15 EUR or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Handmade cassette copies of the album Solitude. These are made using blank cassettes by various companies (Sony, etc.), so expect a truly DIY piece of physical media in the mail with this one!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Solitude via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 15 Vio\ator releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Monster, Erase Myself: Vio\ator Live at DNA Lounge, Goodbye (feat. Vuota), True Solitude, Solitude, Your Victim, Tomorrow (2020 Version), She's Gone Away, and 7 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $40.13 USD or more (25% OFF)

     

1.
A Beginning 05:04
I'm past the point of no return I've seen things I can't unlearn Things from birth have been ingrained in me I can't stop being who I shouldn't be You can't stop me You can't fight me I'm on fire From inside me I've gone to where I shouldn't go Another place that you don't know No sign of my tracks from where I ran This will end just how it all began
2.
Not Here 05:12
Nothing ever changes You never hear me speak Prepare to wash your hands Of ever knowing me I've always lived in silence I've always lived in fear Not here Not here Prepare to see yourself Through a glass darkly Your god it is a spider Descending down on me I can't continue to be silent I can't choose to live in fear Not here Not here
3.
The world got worse when I was sleeping It's like this every night I want to go back to when I was dreaming Because this isn't right My body's not yours for the taking You say you don't care how I feel You scratch and my skin is flaking I have nothing left but to heal I'll stretch my stomach And ring my skin I can't accept The flesh I'm in
4.
Your Victim 04:52
The hopefulness That I had longed for Has now since passed The waves crash on the shore Another ocean Stretched to horizon Darkening It can not brighten A tidal wave inside Of my emotion Swirling up to meet me In the ocean Pull me down I'm sinking with the refuge Lungs opening And flooding like a deluge I'm not your lover I'm just your victim Those were the last words She said to him No time spent hoping And no more wishing Another day My heart went missing The longing for her Kept me doubting Can't reach my ears The waves now shouting Inviting me in With sirensong Telling me This is where I belong Sinking down To the black abyss My heart has Prepared me for this I close my eyes And whisper goodbye Eyes clouded With the rain from the sky
5.
Goodbye 04:13
I've become someone new Someone you can't recognize All this time I think I knew You wouldn't be here, no surprise You can tell yourself it had to be This was the only outcome Never stopped to look back and ask me "How come?" How come you could never be there Supportive in all your silence Somehow worse than when you'd lash out Knowing only violence While I was there for all The world to see Never trying to Be there for you or for me Goodbye To the man I never knew Goodbye From me to you You've become something new A memory in my head Now I'm wondering if I knew What it was that you said The mind is tricky like that Never knowing what was true All I know is sometimes I still miss...... Goodbye To the tears I never cried Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye
6.
Took the medicine just like they said It's been a few months and I'm still in my head Why won't this go away? I'm begging for the end I can't sleep this one off, no, it's like I just said Oh you're probably fine While I linger outside A place I used to call Yours and mine I can still hear your voice sometimes If I try hard enough I just might cry You were the only aspect of my life That ever felt right And I can still hear your voice sometimes If I try hard enough I just might cry These intrusive thoughts in me Will be the death of everything It's hard enough when I'm at my best Reduced to flesh and bones, without blood I'll fail my test And if you call me now, I just might answer you Even after all it was that you put me through Another night spent apart from you Another night not knowing what to say Another night spent praying to you Another night where I hope that I can stay And I know that you can't see What you're doing to me And I know that you won't see What you're doing to me And I know another night alone Is another night that I can't come home
7.
Charade 03:24
All the words at the end of the day All the things that I couldn't say All the friends you thought I made All the favors you thought I saved Was a charade
8.
Metallic 03:50

credits

released October 1, 2021

Written, performed, recorded, and produced by Vio\ator, except "The End Of Everything" written, performed, and produced by Leah Lane and Vio\ator

Additional guitar on "Nothing Left But To Heal" by Ivan Delint
Guitar, theremin, additional keyboards, and vocals on "The End Of Everything" by Leah Lane

Mixed, mastered, and co-produced by Michael Briggs, except "The End Of Everything" recorded, mixed, mastered, and co-produced by Michael Briggs

Artwork by Leah Lane

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Vio\ator Oakland, California

Oakland-based industrial darkwave

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