Get all 15 Vio\ator releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Monster, Erase Myself: Vio\ator Live at DNA Lounge, Goodbye (feat. Vuota), True Solitude, Solitude, Your Victim, Tomorrow (2020 Version), She's Gone Away, and 7 more.
1. |
A Beginning
05:04
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I'm past the point of no return
I've seen things I can't unlearn
Things from birth have been ingrained in me
I can't stop being who I shouldn't be
You can't stop me
You can't fight me
I'm on fire
From inside me
I've gone to where I shouldn't go
Another place that you don't know
No sign of my tracks from where I ran
This will end just how it all began
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2. |
Not Here
05:12
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Nothing ever changes
You never hear me speak
Prepare to wash your hands
Of ever knowing me
I've always lived in silence
I've always lived in fear
Not here
Not here
Prepare to see yourself
Through a glass darkly
Your god it is a spider
Descending down on me
I can't continue to be silent
I can't choose to live in fear
Not here
Not here
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3. |
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The world got worse when I was sleeping
It's like this every night
I want to go back to when I was dreaming
Because this isn't right
My body's not yours for the taking
You say you don't care how I feel
You scratch and my skin is flaking
I have nothing left but to heal
I'll stretch my stomach
And ring my skin
I can't accept
The flesh I'm in
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4. |
Your Victim
04:52
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The hopefulness
That I had longed for
Has now since passed
The waves crash on the shore
Another ocean
Stretched to horizon
Darkening
It can not brighten
A tidal wave inside
Of my emotion
Swirling up to meet me
In the ocean
Pull me down
I'm sinking with the refuge
Lungs opening
And flooding like a deluge
I'm not your lover
I'm just your victim
Those were the last words
She said to him
No time spent hoping
And no more wishing
Another day
My heart went missing
The longing for her
Kept me doubting
Can't reach my ears
The waves now shouting
Inviting me in
With sirensong
Telling me
This is where I belong
Sinking down
To the black abyss
My heart has
Prepared me for this
I close my eyes
And whisper goodbye
Eyes clouded
With the rain from the sky
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5. |
Goodbye
04:13
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I've become someone new
Someone you can't recognize
All this time I think I knew
You wouldn't be here, no surprise
You can tell yourself it had to be
This was the only outcome
Never stopped to look back and ask me
"How come?"
How come you could never be there
Supportive in all your silence
Somehow worse than when you'd lash out
Knowing only violence
While I was there for all
The world to see
Never trying to
Be there for you or for me
Goodbye
To the man I never knew
Goodbye
From me to you
You've become something new
A memory in my head
Now I'm wondering if I knew
What it was that you said
The mind is tricky like that
Never knowing what was true
All I know is sometimes
I still miss......
Goodbye
To the tears I never cried
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye
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6. |
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Took the medicine just like they said
It's been a few months and I'm still in my head
Why won't this go away? I'm begging for the end
I can't sleep this one off, no, it's like I just said
Oh you're probably fine
While I linger outside
A place I used to call
Yours and mine
I can still hear your voice sometimes
If I try hard enough I just might cry
You were the only aspect of my life
That ever felt right
And I can still hear your voice sometimes
If I try hard enough I just might cry
These intrusive thoughts in me
Will be the death of everything
It's hard enough when I'm at my best
Reduced to flesh and bones, without blood I'll fail my test
And if you call me now, I just might answer you
Even after all it was that you put me through
Another night spent apart from you
Another night not knowing what to say
Another night spent praying to you
Another night where I hope that I can stay
And I know that you can't see
What you're doing to me
And I know that you won't see
What you're doing to me
And I know another night alone
Is another night that I can't come home
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7. |
Charade
03:24
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All the words at the end of the day
All the things that I couldn't say
All the friends you thought I made
All the favors you thought I saved
Was a charade
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8. |
Metallic
03:50
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Vio\ator Oakland, California
Oakland-based industrial darkwave
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