Doomed To Live

by Vio\ator

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released March 16, 2015

Written and performed by Vio\ator, except "Tomorrow" written by Annie\King and Vio\ator
"How?" and "Alleyways" co-produced by Annie\King
Mixing, mastering, and album artwork by by Chris\Broyles

Thank you: An\Ki, Ch\Br, Aa\Ke, Ke\Mc, Jo\Qu, Je\Pe, Mi\De\To



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Vio\ator San Francisco, California

San Francisco based industrial post-punk project


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Track Name: A Body, I Pray
There are bodies in the basement of the house I used to own
I thought I could escape them with the miles I had flown
But the past, it catches up to you just when you least expect
And it crumbles down around you and makes you the prime suspect

I've a problem in my pocket that keeps calling out my name
Nobody else can hear it and they're calling me insane
But the noise is deafening and there's a ringing in my ear
Everyone else must be deaf if I'm the only one that hears

The riddle to my answer, the question that I chose
At one time it was a baby, now I see that it has grown
Left a body in Helsinki, left a body in Berlin
I thought my problems were all over, now they're starting to begin

There's a book that I was reading all about how to get away
But in the end I had to burn it, it recommended that I pray
Feeling like I've got a fever and my neck's starting to sweat
Just run my hand through my hair and do my best to forget

The choice that's been laid out before me is the path I have to choose
I wish that I'd gotten a winning one, but I know that I will lose
At the end of the day, though, it was only my and her
But I don't know what you'd expect from a violator
Track Name: Post
I'm tired of speaking these words that I'm throwing
I'm tired of thinking, I'm tired of knowing
I'm tired of hearing the words that you're saying
I'm tired of hoping, I'm tired of praying
I'm tired of feeling the contours of your skin
How you feel outside, how you feel within
I'm tired of tasting the lies on your breath
The lies about living, the lies about death
I'm tired of smelling the scent of our loss
Of streaked mascara, and stolen lip gloss
Track Name: How?
I abused it: all the things and the stories you told
So I'll use it: a sequence of events waiting to unfold
Sequence over: everything ending and coming to my senses
Falling downward: going into crystal lenses

Now the comedown: faces are staring, eyes blinking
Now the rebound: I go forward, my mind not thinking
Got a problem: not one, not two... in my sight
Your lost wishes: all the things you said you can't do... I might

You ask me, "How do you do it?"
I tell you to look right through it
You ask me, "How do you do it?"
But you're spending your time looking away

No more power: falling down my face torn open
Can't think anymore: time is up and it's time to get going
No more presents: falling apart my legs are over
Interview time: falling apart my ashes will smolder
No more problems: my slate is clean, my slate is dry
Wipe clean my hands: security wants to ask me why
Why I did it: I have no answer... shrug my shoulders
Interview time: fall apart and burn my ashes will smolder

And all this time, you could have been elsewhere
Taking him down...
Taking him down to where the sun doesn't go
Track Name: Security
I dug it well/I dug it well
I dug it down/Deep into Hell
The earth did move/The vines did grow
I heard it from the voice below

The fires rage
Don't turn the page
The best is yet to come
Don't come so close
Here comes the host
His guests are on the run

Security down/Here comes the knife
Security down/Here comes the axe

Fulfill the need/Fulfill the need
I take my needs/I strike them down
My needs did grow/My pride did swell
My needs went underground/Went to Hell

Security down/Gone straight to Hell
Track Name: Alleyways
You told me not to question fate
A pocket full of pistols, and a pistol full of hate
You told me not to shut it out
I went to the beach, poured sand in my mouth

(Dark alleyways, the lines going through my head
Dark alleyways, the things that I could have said instead)

I've got what I need, it's here in my hands
It's pumping and it's bleeding like a beating heart
You asked what I had, I lied to your face
Put it behind my back and said I forgot

So no more can I question fate
Emptied out my pockets, shot the pistol full of hate
No more can I shut it out
I can't swallow the sand, let it pour from my mouth

You've got what I need, it's there in your hands
It's pumping and it's bleeding like a beating heart
I asked what you had, you lied to my face
Put it behind your back and said you forgot
Track Name: Overview
(nightmares taking over my day. I put a buzz-saw to my fucking arm; tendons spilled out faster than I could put them back in. I blink and everything is back to normal in an instant)

Each morning, sweat on my pillow
Each morning cum on my pillow

The counselor cries and looks up at the stars
Looking towards my patchwork of scars

(nightmares taking over my day. cockroaches crawling out from under my fingernail. i pull it off and the fuckers swarm en masse, biting into the meat, chewing on the flesh. I blink and everything is back to normal in an instant)

The men at the door
Are there no more
They're bundled up on the pillow
Their feet on the floor
She's at the store
Streaked with gore
Each morning blood on my pillow
My tongue is sore

The counselor cries from between the bars
Looking towards my patchwork of scars

(nightmares taking over my day. my teeth pulled out of my jaw one by one, each side coming off and fucking spiderwebs shooting out. I blink and everything is back to normal in an instant)

The dreams are gone
The screams are gone
The bars are gone
The scars are still there
Track Name: The Beauty Of It All
The time it took to get here is the time it took to leave
And the time it took to lose you is the time it took to grieve
I looked for my partner she was nowhere to be seen
I crossed a bridge and I saw her miles away from me

And oh, can't you see the beauty of it all?
Track Name: Tomorrow
Throw me down, and hold me tight
Protect me from the violent light

The yells, the screams
The burning trees
The fires burn so vividly

Memories, pain, sadness, and loss
It's all in the past, the thing that you cost
The future is now, it's time to go home
Meet your maker and say, "Hello!"

They'll think we're lovers
Our bodies
Burned with the others

Burning with the embers
And nobody
Left to remember

Clothes burned to bodies trying to get away
But all of us knew that we'd have to pay

The yells, the screams
The burning trees
The life that you will never lead

The sky filled with soot and ash
And all of us gone
In one brilliant flash
Track Name: The Party
The party's over, where's everyone?
Took them away when you were gone
You looked at me and then you lied
You said you were too tough to go

The party's over, nowhere to go
The party's over, and what a show
The moving numbers, the songs of woe
The party's over, nowhere to go

The party's over, no one to say
We have to push the sky away
Our souls are ripped out and thrown away
Because of what we did today